Coping with Grief and Loss: How Can Therapy Help?
Grief is tough. It’s messy, unpredictable, and can feel completely overwhelming. Whether you’ve lost someone close to you or you’re struggling with another kind of loss, the emotional toll can be huge. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve, and everyone’s deals with it differently. But one thing is certain—you're not alone, and support is available.
Therapy can be a lifeline when you’re experiencing grief and loss. It offers a space to talk openly and make sense of your emotions. You can begin to process mixed feelings at your own pace and without judgement or someone trying to ‘fix’ it. Let's explore how therapy can help and what you can do to support yourself through this painful time.
What is Grief?
Grief is the emotional response to loss. While we most often associate it with losing a loved one, grief can arise from many situations, like the end of a relationship, losing a job, or major life changes. It’s complex and deeply personal—some people feel sadness, while others experience anger, numbness, or even relief. And all of those feelings are valid.
The Most Common Sources of Grief Are:
The death of a loved one
Divorce or the end of a relationship
Losing a job or financial instability
Moving away from home or losing a sense of belonging
The decline of a loved one’s physical or mental health
Collective grief from tragic world events
The Grief of Losing a Loved One
Losing someone close to you can be devastating. Whether the loss was sudden or expected, it can shake your whole world. You may struggle with feelings of guilt, regret, or even relief, depending on the situation. Grieving is different for everyone—some people cry constantly, while others shut down emotionally. Both are completely normal.
Myths and Facts About Grief and Grieving
There are a lot of misconceptions about grief. Let’s clear some up:
Myth: Grief follows a predictable timeline.
Fact: There’s no set timeframe for grieving. It’s different for everyone.
Myth: You should “move on” after a certain period.
Fact: Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. You learn to live with the loss in your own way. Pressure from others or yourself to move on rarely works and can be damaging.
Myth: If you’re not crying, you’re not grieving properly.
Fact: Grief shows up in different ways—some people cry, others withdraw, and some throw themselves into work.
The Grieving Process
Grief isn’t a straight line—it’s more like a tidal wave. It rises and falls, sometimes gently and sometimes with force. Some days it pulls you under, other days, it calms enough to let you breathe. It’s always there but it can shift with time.
How to Deal with the Grieving Process
Allow yourself to feel – There’s no “right” way to grieve or feel, so don’t judge your emotions and thoughts.
Talk about it – Share your feelings with a friend, family member, or therapist.
Be patient with yourself – Healing takes time, and it’s okay to take small steps.
Seek support – Therapy, support groups, or bereavement counselling can help.
The 5 Stages of Grief:
You might have heard about the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Not everyone experiences all of them, and they don’t necessarily happen in order. It’s more of a guide than a rulebook. I had a hard time with the acceptance stage and never thought it would be possible, but years later I have been able to accept it.
Grief Can Be a Roller Coaster
One day, you might feel like you’re coping, and the next, it hits you all over again. That’s normal. Healing isn’t about getting over it—it’s about learning to carry the loss in a way that feels manageable and safe for you.
Symptoms of Grief and Grieving
Grief affects more than just your emotions—it can take a toll on your body, too.
Emotional Symptoms of Grief
Sadness and despair
Guilt or regret
Anger or frustration
Anxiety or panic
Numbness or detachment
Physical Symptoms of Grief
Fatigue and exhaustion
Physical pain like heart ache and a tight chest.
Loss of appetite or overeating
Headaches and stomach problems
Insomnia or excessive sleeping
Types of Grief and Loss
Anticipatory Grief
This happens when you know a loss is coming, such as when a loved one has a terminal illness. It doesn’t necessarily make grief easier, but it allows time for emotional preparation.
Disenfranchised Grief
When a loss isn’t widely acknowledged—like losing a secret partner or grieving a celebrity—it can feel isolating.
Complicated Grief
Some grief becomes long-term and all-consuming, making it hard to move forward. Therapy can help if grief feels overwhelming.
Can Grief and Loss Lead to Mental Illness?
While grief itself isn’t a mental illness, prolonged or intense grief can contribute to anxiety, depression, and PTSD. If you’re struggling to cope, seeking professional support could be a good step.
Finding Support for Grief and Loss
Speak to a Certified Therapist – Grief, Loss and Bereavement Counselling
A therapist can offer a safe space to explore your feelings, find ways to cope, and support you through the process. Person-centred therapy is especially helpful because it focuses on your unique experience, offering warmth, empathy, and understanding.
Taking Care of Yourself as You Grieve
Self-care might feel impossible when you’re grieving, but small steps can help, like a shower or a short walk.
How Can Grief and Loss Affect Your Work?
Grief can make it hard to focus, leaving you exhausted and emotionally drained. Be kind to yourself—take breaks, set boundaries, and communicate with your employer if you need support.
FAQ About Grief and Therapy
How long does grief last?
There’s no set timeline. It’s different for everyone and can take months or years.
Can therapy really help with grief?
Yes, therapy offers a safe space to process your emotions and find coping strategies.
What type of therapy is best for grief?
Person-centred therapy is a great option because it focuses on your individual experience and emotions.
Is it normal to feel angry when grieving?
Absolutely. Anger is a common part of grief, whether it's directed towards yourself, others, or even the person who has died.
FAQ About Holly Ibbs – Therapy
I’m a certified person-centred therapist offering online therapy in the UK and Portugal. I specialise in grief, loss, and life transitions. I have personal experience, alongside training in these areas.
How can I book a session?
You can book an online therapy session directly through my website. Or a face-to-face session, depending on location.
Do I need therapy if I’m grieving?
Not everyone does, but if grief feels overwhelming or you’re struggling to cope, therapy can help.
Grief is never easy, and it can feel isolating. But you don’t have to go through it alone. If you’re struggling, reach out—whether it’s to a friend, a therapist or a support group. Healing takes time, and with support, it is possible to find a way forward.